Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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