So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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