i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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