you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
