I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize