yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
