hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
