did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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