Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
