Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
