So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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