yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
