Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
