I seem to have left my pride at pride
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
