i jhust puked up my retainher.
please come you make the beer taste better
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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