doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
