If i come over, it means nothing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
