also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
