Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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