i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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