I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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