every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
