someone get that fucking seahorse.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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