Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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