I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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