matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
