This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
