Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
