I want to walk on stilts...naked
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
