Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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