Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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