I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Randomize
