As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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