I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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