Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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