Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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