Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
