I wannas sexs uuuuu
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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