Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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