i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
