My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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