my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
