I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
