the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
