i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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