I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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