so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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