how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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