my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
