so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize