i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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