Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
