This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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