whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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