Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
