there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
