He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
