He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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