White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
