when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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