I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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