So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
